They've Cornered The Market

On jack boots. The women over here love knee high boots. They wear them even if you can't see them. I used to think it was kind of sexy but its rather boring now. You'd think it was part of the Chinese woman's uniform. That and/or high heels. Actually it's probably high heels first and the boots second. But the boots have to have high heels and they have to be skin tight.

The first time I noticed them was on a woman stepping into a club at the Nikko hotel in Dalian. I just thought she was out on the town and had gotten her fancy boots on. She was wearing a flouncy skirt white tights and black high heel knee high shiny leather boots.

Nice, I thought.

Then I started to notice that everyone was wearing some version of the same outfit. Knee high boots with shorts (tights visible in the gap between boot and pant). Knee high boots with Capri pants just covering the top. Knee high boots over skin tight jeans. Knee high boots under not quite skin tight jeans (I saw a woman trying them on at the mall). The jackier the heel the better.

WTF?

Could it be they're trying to compensate for the fact that they've got short legs? Could it be a Communist mandate? Could it be some cultural thing I just wouldn't understand, like foot binding?

I dunno, its strange though and not the least bit sexy anymore.

Of course sexy is hard to come by over here. I haven't seen a girly bar (or any bar for that matter) yet. I haven't seen a sex shop or anything that may even be a front for a sex shop. I haven't heard a dirty joke since I've been here. Girlfriends on the side are mentioned in fear and usually with a lot of giggling... by the men.

Case in point, one of my Chinese friends gave me a lighter. This lighter has a little LED type light built into it. Looking at it you'd think someone had just added a handy little flashlight to this lighter so you don't burn yourself looking for your cigarettes in the dark. Well this light has a secret. When shined on a suitable surface from about three feet away you get a picture of a topless Asian girl.

Clever.

Fun even. We were all marveling at it over dinner (three guys) shining it on the ceiling and stuff. I even invited the waiter over to show him the trick. But when I suggested I show any women... No No No. That would get us in big trouble. Hell, if curious we couldn't even explain what it was we were playing with. It was harmless, like naked lady playing cards.

Anyway, whatever half baked fantasies I had about a Chinese tryst are long since up in smoke. I don't speak the language, culturally I don't know where to start, and I like my women with a back bone.

Jeeze 1.3 Billion. How?